Uh, What?

I usually don't do celebrity news here at Perdido Street School.

Okay, I NEVER do celebrity news here at Perdido Street School.

But this story - well, I just had to:

Lady Gaga wants her first fragrance to cause a visceral reaction.

She reportedly wants her scent to smell like "blood and semen," sources have told Fashionista.

Her "little monsters" shouldn't be surprised. Insiders told Marketingmagazine in the UK that it will have an extremely "unusual" fragrance.

The wacky pop star signed a deal with Coty last year, and her signature scent will hit shelves next year.

If Gaga's seminal scent is as out there as it's rumored, it already has company on the shelves.

Kilian Hennessy has a high-priced perfume called Liaisons Dangereuses that is meant to evoke the scent of an orgy.

And Demeter Fragrances has been selling near-ghastly smells for over a decade: Sushi, Lobster and Turpentine scents are just a few of their olfactory creations.

Yes, I'm looking for a gift for my wife, a perfume.

Something that smells a little like, I dunno, blood and semen?

Or how about something that evokes Plato's Retreat from the late 70's?

Maybe a combination of marijuana, bourbon, sweat, other bodily fluids, lust, and desperation?

Yeah, sounds great.

It's on my Valentine's Day list.