Perdido 03

Perdido 03

Friday, July 13, 2012

How Low Will They Go?

Ah, yes - giving a college readiness test to five year olds.

That makes sense.

Why stop there?

Why not go even earlier?

How about pre-school?

Or day care?

Hell, why start with the college readiness assessments after they're already born ?

Everybody knows that's too damned late.

Let's start in the womb.

And the third trimester is just way too late to start college readiness assessment.

Let's start in the second trimester.

No, screw it, let's start in the first trimester!

You know what, scratch that- let's start right after fertilization!

Yeah, that's the perfect time for a college readiness assessment.

But wait - what if that's too late???!!!

Maybe we should start before fertilization.

Maybe we should start with the egg and the sperm by themselves and see if they're acquiring the skills necessary for college?

Maybe we should assess when little Johnny is just glint in Big Johnny's eye and he's setting the Barry White record onto the turn table?

Maybe that's the best time to start college readiness assessment!

But wait, what if that's too late!

Maybe we need to start even earlier...

3 comments:

  1. Conception begins at the moment of the first standardized test.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Why bother with that? Just implant chips in their brains and download your content: Snooki, various product placements, Ayn Rand...

    It's win-win: the jobs of those unreliable teachers are finally digitized, research shows the young scholars to be more docile, and billionaire gadget worshippers will have finally achieved their fantasies of power, power to rule the world!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Emma Goldman's GhostJuly 13, 2012 at 8:37 PM

    Stupefyingly stupid......

    ReplyDelete