NYCDOE To Put Statues Of Mayor Bloomberg In Every City School Before Bloomberg Leaves Office On December 31

Following the news that the NYCDOE gave a performance assessment test to seventh graders asking the students to rate the success of our Dear Leader, Mayor Bloomberg, Perdido Street School blog can reveal that the NYCDOE has drawn up plans to put a bronze statue of their hero, Mayor Bloomberg, in every school in the city before Bloomberg leaves office at the end of December.

The statues will depict Bloomberg with arms crossed, an amused smile on his face, as he benevolently looks upon the student charges who cross the threshold into the school system he loved so much.

A source at Tweed Courthouse, the headquarters of the NYCDOE, tells Perdido Street that the brain trust of the Bloomberg Department of Education just wanted to do something nice for their hero, the Mayor of Money, before he flies off to Bermuda at the end of the year and a new mayor takes over.

"It's our way of saying, 'You've put your mark on this system, Mike, and it can never be erased barring some really, really expensive engineering.  Thanks for all the disruption you brought us!'"

Sources tell Perdido Street School that some Tweedies had argued for statues of former Chancellor Joel Klein as well, but that effort was nixed by the current NYCDOE chancellor, Dennis Walcott.

Walcott, sources say, didn't want to be overshadowed by the earlier chancellor.

Said one source: "Walcott thinks he's disrupted things in the system as much as Klein has, just without as much fanfare.  In fact, Dennis thinks he's been better at disrupting things than Joel, because he's managed to do it and not seem to be as big a dick about it."

The statue work will commence Columbus Day weekend and be completed before the Christmas break.

When asked by Perdido Street School how it is they could get these statues into schools so fast but can't seem to get the cancer-causing PCB's out of them, a source told us "Hey, we do the things that need to get done first and worry about the silly stuff later."