Perdido 03

Perdido 03

Monday, May 7, 2012

Arne Duncan Supports Gay Marriage - But Only If It Can Be Tested

Jumping on the Biden bandwagon, President Obama's Secretary of Education Privatization Arne Duncan came out in favor of gay marriage today:

When asked Monday on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” if same-sex couples should be allowed to marry in the United States, Mr. Duncan said matter-of-factly, “Yes, I do.” He added that he didn’t think he’d ever been asked that question publicly.


Duncan went on to tell Morning Joe that he favors a gay marriage test, developed by Pearson Education and tied to the Common Core State Standards, that will ensure America becomes competitive in a globalized economy once again.

Secretary Duncan said he also favors testing for heterosexual married couples.

In order for states to get Defense of Marriage Act waivers, Duncan said, they will have to agree to new evaluations of marriages. Pearson will develop tests for couples of all orientations, as well as the value-added measurement formulas that will tell Duncan whether each couple is adding value or not to America's competitiveness.

Couples found not to be adding value via these Pearson tests two years running will be declared "ineffective" and sent to Vegas for a "It's Your Fault" divorce.

Duncan told Morning Joe he has modeled this program, called Race to the Altar, on his controversial Race to the Top education program.

He said we have an obligation to make sure every marriage, no matter the orientation, is making profits for Pearson Education.

David Axelrod, a spokesman for the Obama administration, said Secretary of Education Privatization Duncan was speaking for himself and not the administration as a whole.

"We don't mind scapegoating teachers for all the problems in the country, and Arne is just the guy who can get that message out there via shows like Morning Joe. But we don't support gay marriage, we do not support state waivers for the Defense of Marriage Act and we certainly do not support giving the Secretary of Education Privatization power over what is essentially a state issue."

The spokesman went on to say that the Obama administration does support allowing Pearson to issue marriage licenses and divorce agreements.

"What the hell, we let them run everything else," Axelrod said, "Why not this?"

4 comments:

  1. Brilliant! But watch out, my experience tells me they're not above stealing the idea and actually doing this, and you won't even get the credit (or any of the profits)!

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  2. I believe that everything, even if intangible, can be quantified. We trick is to develop the right matrix by hiring eager twenty-somethings who have no classroom or marriage experience via no-bid contracts that cost millions of dollars to create the value-added formulas. What better way to spend millions in education dollars and money that would otherwise have gone to provide and support families?

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  3. You hit it out of the park! This should come with a coffee spill warning so as to save keyboards.

    ReplyDelete