Perdido 03

Perdido 03

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Andrew Cuomo To Run For Re-Election As A Republican

Governor Andrew M. Cuomo stunned his audience at a speaking engagement at the Harvard Club today when he announced he will be running for re-election as a Republican.

Cuomo, speaking to a sparse group of financiers and GOP powerbrokers including John Catsimatidis, the supermarket magnate who ran for mayor in the NYC Republican primary last year, said that he has decided to dispense with the sham of calling himself a Democrat and just come out as the corporate-toadying Republican he really is.

"99% of my campaign donation were big-money donations, coming from corporate interests and/or affluent people.  My fiscal policies, my environmental policies, my education policies all favor wealthy people and corporate interests.  I have pushed tax cuts for rich people even as I have cut education aid to districts that serve poor and minority students.  I have handed out tax breaks to wealthy real estate interests in return for campaign donations and expanded legalized gambling across the state to pay back my casino campaign donors.  There really is no point to calling myself a "Democrat" anymore - I have just decided to come out as the Reagan Republican I really am."

While Cuomo spoke to his wealthy audience inside the Harvard Club, 50 anti-fracking protesters outside the club vowed to follow Governor 1% around the state, saying they would not allow Cuomo to sell out the environment to his corporate friends and donors:

"Everywhere the governor goes, whether it's upstate or downstate, [there] the anti-fracking movement will be, demanding that he do the right thing and protect our health and safety," said Alex Beauchamp of Food & Water Watch, which opposes the gas-drilling process on which Cuomo has yet to make a final pronouncement. 

Meanwhile inside the Harvard Club, the GOP powerbrokers and Wall Street financiers who gave Sheriff Andy envelopes with unmarked bills as "Christmas gifts" on the way into the talk, said they were impressed with Cuomo's Republican/conservative credentials:

Overall, "I would say it was exactly the kind of crowd that you need to have if you want to run for governor of this state, especially from the Republican side," said GOP consultant Michael McKeon, a former top aide to then-Gov. George Pataki, after the event.

"I think his presentation won over a lot of people today who I think will be prepared to stand with him in November," said McKeon, who wasn't willing to confirm he's officially heading this cycle's "Republicans For Cuomo" movement, as he did four years ago.
Many in the press were surprised by Cuomo's announcements that he was changing parties and becoming a Republican, but could not ask the governor any questions after the event, as Cuomo fled the scene with a sack full of little white envelopes stuffed with cash and business cards with contact information so he can receive his Valentine's Day, Easter, Passover and Father's Day gifts from the GOP powerbrokers and Wall Street financiers.

Earlier today, Cuomo's office announced that Governor Cuomo has the largest war chest of any U.S. governor up for re-election.

After the audience with the Wall Street financiers and GOP powerbrokers at the Harvard Club today, you can see just how he got all that money.

6 comments:

  1. oh good.. maybe the Democrats can put up someone good to run against him....

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    1. Alas, nobody is going to primary him. We're stuck with him on the Dem ticket. Have to vote Green if you want to vote for a real advocate for the environment, education, etc.

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  2. I agree with Tamar. Otherwise, I hope the Green Party will be running a candidate again.

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    1. I'm sure they will. Because if they don't, it's going to be two Republicans running against each other.

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  3. Teachers really ought to get behind a Green Party candidate this year.
    I'm sure that with one meeting with a Green candidate that the person would get behind the anti-CCSS, and the resistance vs. the rest of the deformist trends.If we get behind a candidate early we could stand a chance of building support for the candidate and cutting into Andy's support.
    Good riddance to him. We just as well might have a Republican in there.

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  4. Do you folks not recognize satire when you see it? Why isn't this mentioned anywhere else?.The language and descriptions are a bit over the top, to the point of being ham handed (for effect,of course!).

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