Watch out, Mr. Whipple, the mayor of Newark is putting the squeeze on toilet paper.
Mayor Cory Booker threatened to stop spending city funds on toilet paper as one of a string of "savage" measures to close a $70 million budget gap.
"We're going to stop buying everything from toilet paper to printer paper," Booker said during a City Hall news conference in Newark Wednesday.
"Call me Mr. Scrooge, if you want, but there will be no Christmas decorations around the city."
Booker said the belt-tightening will commence on Aug. 2 with the closing of city pools and its popular Camp Watershed.
"He wants to balance the budget on workers' backsides," said Rahaman Muhammad, president of the Service Employees International Union Local 617, adding that Booker has also proposed putting city employees on a four-day workweek.
"Maybe Booker is gonna make people carry those little packets of tissue," Muhammad told the Daily News. "It's not about toilet paper; this is about throwing a tantrum."
Indeed this is about throwing a tantrum. Just like his hero, Mayor Bloomberg, Cory Booker thinks he should get his way all the time on every issue.
When the City Council rejected his proposal to lay off 650 workers and increase property taxes by 7%, he went to the No TP/No Christmas threats.
How like Mayor Moneybags!
The good news, with Booker declaring Christmas decorations off limits, the city can always use the old tinsel, cardboard Santas, and fake Christmas tree pine cones as toilet paper.