A pineapple, a hare and NYSED Commissioner John King decided to have a race to the top.
Commissioner King wanted the race to be educationally sound, with lots of informational text reading, argumentative writing and diagnostic tests throughout the race.
Commissioner King also wanted to hold the coaches of the racers accountable for the outcome of the race.
King said he would use a value-added measurement to make sure the racers were running just a little bit faster this race than that last one they had back in 2012.
Finally he said that if the value-added measurement showed that the racers were running just a little bit slower this time around, the coaches of the racers would be declared "ineffective" and fired from their jobs.
The hare told John King he was insane.
The pineapple sat there.
John King got insulted when the pineapple and the hare didn't bow down to his wishes and tell him how great he is.
He took his sneakers and left.
The pineapple and the hare lived happily ever after.