Vacation Bible Schools Become Common Core-Aligned

This sounds like a story from The Onion but it's actually from the Journal-Courier:

This summer, Vacation Bible School instructors at Midwest Church of Christ took a somewhat different tactic in teaching about Noah's Ark and the Gospel: They aligned their lessons to Common Core standards.

It's a move seen increasingly at Vacation Bible School and Bible study classes in Louisville and surrounding areas.

"We're still using Bible stories but we're asking questions that are tied to Common Core," said Olivia Hanley, who helps develop the curriculum for Vacation Bible School at Midwest Church of Christ. "What we're trying to do is ask questions in a different way, a way that's aligned ... to the critical thinking and other questions in Common Core."

Common Core and Bible stories - love it!

I see the possibilities already.

How about some Common Core-aligned Bible math:

Jesus had five loaves of bread, two fish and a crowd of thousands to feed.

Using cubes, explain how Jesus fed the crowd with peanut butter and jelly.

Or how about a close reading of the rigorous Book of Revelations along with some text-based questions getting at exactly what the author meant.

For centuries, humans have struggled to read and comprehend religious texts, but those struggles will fall to a David Coleman-approved close reading strategy.

And hey, why miss out on any opportunity for college- and career-readiness.

Even the baby Jesus understands that there can be no time lost to getting the kiddies college- and career-ready, so everything - including religious studies - should be Common Core-aligned.

Alas, not everyone is with the program:

The Archdiocese of Louisville reviewed the Common Core standards for its schools, finding that some of what its schools were doing in English and math were already in line with the standards. But it said it also noticed some areas it thought were deficient or missing in the new standards and decided to maintain what it had in those areas.

Yet the idea of using these standards in Bible studies or Vacation Bible School has not been as widely discussed.

Archdiocesan spokeswoman Cecelia Price said that Vacation Bible Schools — which are run by church parishes and not the schools — "have a faith-based content and approach. Therefore, I do not believe the (Common Core standards) would be applicable."

Others also seem flummoxed by the idea of aligning Vacation Bible School with Common Core.

"The focus of Vacation Bible School is to fulfill hearts, for young people and young children to know the Lord in a deeper way," said Denise Donohue, deputy director of the K-12 education program at the Cardinal Newman Society, a conservative advocacy group for greater orthodoxy in Catholic schools.

She asked why math and English language arts standards focused on college and career readiness would have any place in Vacation Bible School.

What's next after Common Core-aligned religion?

How about Common Core-aligned family therapy?

Common Core-aligned Twelve Step Groups?

Gee, we've got so much work to do to get the world more "rigorous" and "standards-based."

God help us - this is what a crumbling empire looks like at the end.

Governor Cuomo Brings Us The Matrix

Tenure, the charter cap and receivership appear to be out of the budget discussions (at least for now), but teacher evaluation changes are not - and they sound like they're a mess:

ALBANY—Following negotiations with the governor this weekend, Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie asked the Democratic members of his conference to consider alternative means of doing teacher evaluations.

Assembly members interviewed by Capital referred to one of the models under serious discussion as a “matrix” or “grid,” which include a variety of “boxes” or categories for measuring educators’ performance. A spokesman for the conference confirmed that a “matrix” model was one possibility lawmakers are considering.

But the Democratic members—many of whom are closely allied with the teachers' unions, and are at odds with Cuomo's push to make teachers ratings more heavily contingent on testing—said they had not seen exact language to describe what Heastie was proposing. And in the absence of further detail, some worried that the proposed alternatives were simply repackaged versions of what the governor was pushing for.

...

Assemblywoman Amy Paulin, a Democrat from Westchester, said she needs more information on the proposal. But she said it sounds like the plan is being sold as a “matrix” when it’s actually not much different than the current system, which is based on student test scores and observations.

“If it’s what I think it is, one side down the matrix is still one test … and the other side is performance evaluation by the school district,” she said. “It doesn’t look like a matrix to me. It looks like an index, because you have 50 percent and 50 percent. That means there’s still a score based on 100 percent, which is not a matrix.

“I’m looking for someone to show me the matrix, show me the boxes, the different components,” she said.

Show me the matrix.

Oy.