Education Jargon

Ever feel like you can't compete with those teaching colleagues of yours who can spin educational jargon like some of the best at the Gates Foundation or the Broad Foundation?

Well, here's the site for you.

It's an Education Jargon Generator that will help you to wow your friends and colleagues with the kind of amazing bullshit that usually only comes out of the mouths of people at PD meetings who are raking in six figure consultancy fees.

Try some of these phrases on for size and see if you can't get hired by the Education Trust or the Fordham Foundation:

disaggregate objective ESLR's

drive performance-based units

morph undefined curriculum integration

benchmark meaning-centered staff development

And those I got just from the first four hits on the generator!

I think this just might be the hit of the Christmas season for all your friends and colleagues - send them the link, let them start generating some bullshit and sound just like high-powered education reformers!

If you have people on your gift list who prefer to use simple language that, you know, actually means something, you might want to send them this list of suggestions for writing from George Orwell:

A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus:

1. What am I trying to say?
2. What words will express it?
3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?
4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

1. Could I put it more shortly?
2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

[...]

I think the following rules will cover most cases:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
   
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Now I have to admit that I prefer the Orwell suggestions for writing over the education jargon.

Of course, using Orwell's suggestions at the latest PD meeting won't get you hired at any education reform think tanks or get you a Common Core curriculum consultancy job at the NYCDOE.

But it sure will keep a lot of bullshit from coming out of your mouth...and your ass.

Jonathan Alter Fired From Newsweek

Buh-bye:

The final member of the “Newsweek Six” has left the building.

Jonathan Alter, the only remaining member of the gang of television-loving newsweekly scribes so dubbed by Slate’s Jack Shafer, is no longer with the publication.

He sent a note to his contacts over the weekend saying, “With changes afoot, my old Newsweek email addresses are now defunct.”

Andrew Kirk, spokesman for Newsweek and The Daily Beast, confirmed that Alter was “no longer with Newsweek.”

His exit was preceded by fellow “Six” members Howard Fineman (Huffington Post), Michael Isikoff (NBC News), Fareed Zakaria (Time), Jon Meacham (Random House) and Evan Thomas (Princeton).

Alter has been at Newsweek since 1983, most recently as a national correspondent. He also writes columns for Bloomberg News, blogs at the Huffington Post and contributes to NBC News. His last book was “The Promise.”

His last piece for Newsweek appeared on April 3.

Alter did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

And of course Alter's last piece at Newsweek is a blowjob of Arne Duncan.

I'm sure Alter will land on his feet somewhere, especially given his pro-corporate education reform credentials.

Maybe Bloomberg Businessweek will hire him full time.

Maybe the Gates Foundation people will find him work.

Maybe Rupert Murdoch or Mort Zuckerman will hire him at one of their publications to continue to bash teachers and teachers unions.

Nonetheless it is good to see Alter, a senior columnist at Newsweek, canned for making too much money, just the way the "common sense" reforms he wants to see implemented in schools would enable the firing of hundreds of thousands of senior teachers for the sole reason that they make too much money.

Buh-bye, Jonathan.

Hope you still have health insurance.

Mistress Eva Criticizes DOE

Exactly why is Eva Moskowitz criticizing the NYCDOE?

More than a third of New York City students who entered first grade in 2003 identified as English language learners couldn't pass an English-language proficiency test last year when they were in the seventh grade, according to Department of Education data.

The numbers were culled by Eva Moskowitz, a former Manhattan city councilwoman known for her aggressive scrutiny of the Department of Education and clashes with the teachers union. She is now the head of a charter-school network.

Ms. Moskowitz said she requested the information from the DOE and compiled a report—which she plans to release Tuesday—because she is concerned that large numbers of English language learners are not getting appropriate instruction. While the city has made some progress, "we need bolder, faster change," she said.

Oh, yes - that "bolder, faster" thing is her brand, isn't it?

So now she's creating news to promote her brand - "Bolder, Faster Change!" - and the Murdoch paper is willingly and enthusiastically helping her.

Funny how she never did much criticism when her pal Joel was chancellor.

But I guess that shows you just how low Cathie Black is held in esteem.

Even Mistress Eva has decided it's open season on her.

As for Eva, if she gave a shit about ESL students, maybe she should, you know, take some into her schools and hold onto them until the 8th grade.

But as usual this all about Eva promoting Eva.

Michelle Rhee To Sacramento To Keep An Eye On KJ

Did anybody really think Michelle Rhee would base her ed deform operations in any city but Sacramento?

Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson announced today that the education reform organization operated by his fiancée -- former Washington, D.C., school chancellor Michelle Rhee -- will set up its headquarters here.

Rhee's goal is to raise $1 billion for the StudentsFirst organization. Its objective is to carry the same level of political influence as teacher unions and other interests in local and state elections.

Johnson made the announcement during his annual State of the City address at the Sacramento Convention Center.

Johnson said Rhee was courted by mayors around the country and that he was "not ashamed to say that I pulled out all the stops and utilized every means I had, but I managed to snag her."

Uh, huh.

Or maybe she's setting up in Sacramento so she can keep an eye on KJ.

After all, KJ has been known to have an eye for the young ladies - even underage ones.

And Rhee has been known to make potential sex scandals involving KJ disappear.

I wonder how much of the Students First money will go toward paying off future KJ victims?

Kaplan Fraud

The Washington Post is a big ed deform paper.

The editorial board cheers when Michelle Rhee fires teachers.

Their "education columnist" Jay Matthews is a charter school shill who once told me in an email that he thought teachers were burnt out after five years and needed to move on after that. If they didn't want to do it voluntarily, they had to be helped by education officials.

And of course the Washington Post still owns Newsweek, the magazine that ran the infamous "Fire Bad Teachers" story back in March.

Yeah, the Washington Post is at the epicenter of the ed deform/blame teachers movement.

But few people know that the Washington Post is owned by for-profit education management organization Kaplan - a company that was found to engage in fraudulent activity by the GAO:

As part of the expanding Congressional scrutiny of for-profit colleges, Senator Tom Harkin announced at a hearing on Wednesday that he plans to examine their accreditation process.

The hearing featured a report by the Government Accountability Office, whose investigators found deceptive practices or fraud atthe 15 for-profit colleges they visited, including two University of Phoenix campuses, two Kaplan Colleges, and a Corinthian Colleges institution.

At some colleges, investigators posing as prospective students were encouraged to list fake dependents or hide their savings. At others, admissions officials refused to let them consult financial aid officers until they signed an enrollment agreement.

“Contrary to what we’ve heard from the industry, these practices seem to be standard,” said David Hawkins of the National Association for College Admission Counseling. “They do not appear to be isolated acts of bad actors.”

Mr. Harkin, Democrat of Iowa, who said he would request documents from 30 colleges, also questioned whether, rather than containing a few bad apples, “the entire orchard” was “contaminated by a business model that churns students — provokes the kind of recruitment and unethical conduct we saw through the G.A.O., because of the need to increase profits and answer to Wall Street.”

Gotta like that the same assholes who cheer the firing of D.C. teachers work at a paper owned by a company that steals money from taxpayers, recruits students who aren't ready for college without remediation and loads them up with tens of thousands of dollars in loans, then discards them as easily as Mayor Bloomberg avoids accountability for test scores when they can't do college-level work.

The hypocrisy of the ed deform movement - from Obama and Duncan claiming they're "for the kids" when they cut $11.9 billion from food stamps so that they can continue to pay off their ed deform cronies to Bloomberg and Klein declaring an education miracle and standing by that "miracle" even when the stats are proven phony to a newspaper that regularly lectures from the op-ed page about "bad teachers" while another part of the same company steals money from students and taxpayers - is beyond the pale.

Seriously.

And I'd like to say we should shame these bad actors into better behavior but it is clear when Obama can lecture teachers about accepting test score results as sacrosanct the day after the NY scores were shown to be phony or Bloomberg can shrug off the real test scores by issuing Clintonian statements about the shifting meaning of the word "proficiency," they are beyond shame.