Perdido 03

Perdido 03

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Bloomberg Pulls The Plug On Vibrator Technologies (UPDATED BELOW)

Usually the Mayor of Money loves machines that replace human endeavor, but for some reason, he doesn't like vibrators:

NEW YORK (AP) -- A vibrator giveaway that attracted long lines in New York City came to an abrupt end when the city told the promoters to pack it up.

The Trojan condom company set up "Pleasure Carts" on Wednesday in two Manhattan neighborhoods, and were set to give away 10,000 vibrating sex toys. Nearly 300 people had lined up at each of the hot-dog-style carts.

According to the New York Post, the giveaway was interrupted when a city representative told the promoters to shut down because of crowds.

One of those on line, Melody Henry, grumbled that Mayor Michael Bloomberg "doesn't want anyone to have fun. You can't have a giant soda, You can't have a vibrator."


Indeed, the mayor only likes technologies that take away fun and freedom from you - like the new Microsoft/NYPD "crime-fighting system" partnership that he excitedly announced at a press conference yesterday.

Technology to track humans using thousands of cameras and computerized data systems - that Bloomberg gets off on.

Free vibrators handed out by the Trojan Man?

Not so much.

And New York City is a much sadder place for it.

UPDATE - 6:15 PM: The city has decided that the Trojan vibrator giveaway can recommence:

Good news, ladies (and certain gentlemen): Mayor Mike Bloomberg has given the Trojan condom company the green light to give away 10,000 free vibrators on the streets of New York.

As we reported earlier, Bloomberg's office put the kibosh on Trojan's sex-toy promotion, citing the fact that the company hadn't obtained the proper permits as the reason.

The vibrator giveaway is now scheduled to resume at 5 p.m. today on the south side of 14th Street between 9th and 10th Avenues, and go until 7 p.m.

It would be nice if Trojan sent some vibrators to the mayor and his staff for not being buzz kills after all.

7 comments:

  1. They should have put mayor Bloomberg's picture on the sex toys, vibrators and dildos. That is where they disappointed The Mayor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps his lordship could be replaced by a dildo? Either way you get screwed!

      Delete
  2. How long before Uncle Mike blames teachers and the UFT for the vibrators?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I guess they didn't give The Worlds Mayor his cut off the top. Many items that schools purchase, like blackberries, communications equipment, video cam systems, etc are more than double the price than normal consumers can find them for on the open market. Wouldn't you think schools should be buying at discounts?

    Is Mayor Mike taking a cut off the top, and the proceeds being whisked away to an offshore shell corp account in the Caymans?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great idea! In addition to condom distribution in the public schools, vibrator distributions! The kids will be able to make condom balloons, use the vibrator rings as joy buzzers on other students, their teachers and their administrators. The attendance will go up, the classroom environmrnt will be circus-like, and middle class union jobs will be eliminated so that the city won't have to pay union salaries or benefits. We will be well on our way to non-unionized charter schools with business administratrors feeding their corporate cronies off the public dole. WOW, Awesome idea!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The oldest and most used method of generating personal wealth between vendor and purchasers in Manhattan has always been inflating the cost of the contracts, so the company official and the vendor make extra cash....otherwise known as the kickback.

    Oh....and screwing the help....

    ReplyDelete