Perdido 03

Perdido 03

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Obama Pardons Turkey, Eats Teacher For Thanksgiving Dinner Instead

The Murdoch Street Journal reports that President Accountability says he performed an "awesome responsibility" when he pardoned a pair of turkeys named Apple and Cider from being Thanksgiving dinner at the White House.

The president instead had a teacher from Central Falls, Rhode Island killed, stuffed with bread crumbs and surrounded by yams, potatoes, and cranberry.

The teacher had taught math at Central Falls, Rhode Island for 22 years.

He was chosen through a value-added analysis that demonstrated he had added little value to his students' test scores in the past year, though he once had been named Teacher of the Year in the state of Rhode Island.

Sasha and Malia both said they prefered the social studies teacher from the South Bronx that was served at the White House last year, but that the six kinds of pie Obama insisted be added to the dessert menu were "yummy."

For his own part, President Obama said the teacher meat was a little stringy and tough, so next year that might go with a younger teacher for the Thanksgiving dinner.

"But not too young," President Obama told reporters as he shared an after dinner smoke with Arne Duncan. "After all, we only want to get rid of the old ones."


  1. No Jive Turkey from you!

  2. Great piece, RBE!!

    More like this, please.

  3. I repeat. Again & again. You present depressing news with humor and take the bite out of it. Keep on coming - more like this please.

  4. Yep, "awesome responsibility" indeed, with Prez accountability eating Pie while people are getting kicked out of their homes.

    Arundhati Roy on Prez A :
    and I think it’s a real pity that, in a way, at least George Bush was so almost obscene in his stupidity about it, whereas here it’s smoke and mirrors, and people find it more difficult to decipher what’s going on. But, in fact, the war has expanded.

    Yep, we could see Bush for the idiot/evil person he was. But Obama comes wrapped in a handsome face/smile and supposedly "intelligent" wrapper inside which it is all junk. It applies to war, economy, Ed Deform ....